true feeling

when we proceed further
life becomes more complex as predicted
something mayb looks fine
but it actually not
other ppl may looks "tame"
but we can feel the wildness inside their heart
under this circumstances
we becomes 'fake'
as we try to pretend in watever we ll do
i wan to seek a way
to find the true feeling that belong to me before
i know my true feeling is waiting for me
at a place around me
because i know
the emptyness tat i feel now will not last long...

string--tight or loose??

yesterday night
i went 4 a movie sharing organized by Buddhist Fellowship(BF)
i really glad bz ppl there are so friendly
hav d sense of belonging
one of the part of the movie create a great impact in me..
a traditional musician said this:
"if the string is too tight,it ll tout;
if the string is too loose,it will not play"
its sound amazing
n i think this words is meaningful and this person full of wisdom..

sometimes
we juz like the string,too tight
sometimes
we also like the string,too loose
i think it is just nice to walk the middle way,
not too tight n too loose
perhaps the theory is easy to b understand
but practically
i found tat it is difficult to find a balance point btw both extreme

i stil remembered quite a long time ago i recieved a msg:
"it depends on u how u view 'stressed',
o u can take it as a 'desserts'"

haha..it is indeed a life lesson..
is the time for me to change..

making choice/s???

that day i went 4 an interview..
is about d chinese community teaching class
d interview went along quite smoothly
n the interviewer all r very friendly
BUT when come to this question
i really dunno how to answer it..
"IF tomoro is ur final exam,n the class is going on like usual,
n u can choose either 1,wat is ur choice???"
i really hate this type of question..
"i l choose according to my priority"
they show me a smilling face,
but i know
deep inside their heart, it's not
this make me think bout last time im a choir member( now oso)
my teacher alwayz want us to giv priority to tat club
i really dun like it

today i got 3 meetings on the same time
i really need to make my mind soon
tat day i attending choir practise until 10 something
back to hostel got JAKSA meeting until 12..
then go to tiong hwa club for college night's prog
i can feel tat the head of programmer had a little bit "no syiok"
cz im late...

life keep going on with making choice
i really hope tat i can make all d thing perfect
but experience told me i cant do so
im not a perfectionist
wat i want is i hope i can cater the need of all ppl
without creating the uneasy feeling in their heart
SORRY..
this is just wat can i do
for u

independent=loneliness??

after reading the words from a blog written by HL,i really hav lots of thing to say..

im really an independent guy..
everything here is gonna b alright
but when time flies,
i can feel im so lonely here...
i try to communicate wit others
but sometimes it seems i cant mix around wit them
different topic to chat
different thing to play
different thing to do
different opinion
different type of ppl
i became to be a dump boy
started to be isolated by others
but im trying to walk into their heart
juz i want others to walk into my heart,oso
so im now doing wat juz my friend said
"pretending" to b good wit them
sometimes it do really bad for me
cz i dont like that kind of feeling
i jz feel that i becomes lonely
BUT
beyond al this
i know that im growing now
growing to b an independent guy
i know i need to face al stuff that i really dont like it
i need to deal wit al sorts of situation that not belong to me before..

speechless
but i know i 'll come back soon
wit my stunning voice
n stand in front of u al..

busy..busy..busy..

almost 2 weeks here--ukm,bangi
life is too busy
everyday rush 4 lecture and those documents stuff
some more back college need to wash d clothes
but i know this is called the "real independent"
everything need to DIY
haha....
life become busy BUT interesting and full of challenging
Keep fighting,
Ya!!!

p/s: this is quite a nice view(DECTAR)..